


An Officer and an Actress Walk into a Bar

by orphan_account



Category: Dead Like Me
Genre: Costumes, F/F, Snark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-17
Updated: 2015-09-05
Packaged: 2018-04-19 07:38:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4738076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four ficlets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Today 4 U

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the iTunes Challenge.

“Whatcha doin’ today?” Roxy asked, popping her gum, studying the menu a bit too hard.

“Auditions, reaping, the usual,” Daisy replied breezily, fingers interlaced over her coffee cup.

Roxy grunted, flipping the menu over again.

“Oh,” Daisy raised up her hands and rested them under her chin. “Don’t tell me. The great Roxy Harvey needs a favor.”

“I need a…” Roxy slammed the menu down when she saw Daisy’s smug expression. “Just come to Victoria’s Secret with me, you smug bitch, and shut your trap, ’cause I ain’t gonna ask twice.”

Daisy made a zipping and throwaway motion, eyes dancing.

“Need a second opinion.” Roxy’s eyes narrowed so much they almost disappeared. “But don’t be gallivanting around like this makes us friends or somethin’.”

“Big date?” Daisy leaned forward like a predator on a scent.

“Maybe,” Roxy said, holding up her coffee cup for Kiffany to see.

“Tall, dark, handsome… rich?”

“Trust me, he’s not your type. Tall, dark, and would lock your ass up the second you tried to weasel his PIN outta him.”

“Keep him then.”

“I think I will.”

“Good for you.” Daisy’s voice was chipper as usual, but it rang hollow, and her eyes stopped dancing.


	2. Five Indulgences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for the porn battle (three), prompt: handcuffs, originally posted [here](http://oxoniensis.livejournal.com/286546.html?thread=12166226#t12166226).)

“Not fit for a lady,” Daisy had protested the first time, shoving her hands primly behind her back. Roxy had handcuffed her anyway and, of course, she’d pouted all the way through it. Even her pussy had pouted—the fucking thing had tasted sour.

“Only to please your masculine sensibilities,” she’d said the next time, sighing like the martyr she often proclaimed herself to be. Roxy showed her exactly what kind of masculine sensibilities she had and Daisy had forgotten she minded by the end of their disciplining session.

“It’s like playing dress-up,” she’d said the third time, even got a special outfit for the occasion, complete with convenient nipple-cut outs (very convenient, Roxy discovered). She gasped a little in the back of her throat as she was strung up.

“Control is overrated,” she’d said the fourth time, purring like a kitten and rubbing up against Roxy’s police uniform like a street hooker, full of questions—and a few illegal suggestions—about her gun. Roxy never did look at it quite the same after that.

“Please?” she said the fifth time, biting her lip as she raised her hands above her head, and then it was Roxy’s turn to purr.


	3. Someone to Water Over Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for the femslash_today unporn battle, prompt: coffee, originally posted [here](http://community.livejournal.com/femslash_today/53181.html?thread=775613#t775613).

“You’ll get wrinkles,” Daisy said when Roxy started on her fifth cup.

“I’m dead, you knucklehead. I don’t have to worry about wrinkles or any of that shit anymore.” She tipped the cup up. “One of the only good things about this job.”

“Just because a woman’s dead, Roxy, doesn’t mean she should let herself go.”

“And what do you care if I let myself go?”

“I was simply making an observation,” Daisy said, flipping her hair back and tracing her finger around the rim of her own mug. “And the rest of us do have to look at you, you know. It’s not as if we’re innocent bystanders in all this.”

Roxy noted the way Daisy’s eyes lingered as she took another sip and smiled a little.

“Look at you, girl, fussing over someone else for once. I never thought I’d see the day.”

“Well, someone’s got to look out for you.”

“Is that so?”

Daisy nodded. “Absolutely.”

“And you think you’re the person for the job?”

Daisy smiled, picture perfect. “I do.”

But instead of the expected argument, Roxy picked up a glass of water with flourish.

“All right then, Ms. Daisy Adair. You got yourself a deal.”


	4. Playing Dress Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for the femslash100 challenge #112: pirates, originally posted [here.](http://community.livejournal.com/femslash100/357120.html)

“What do you think?” Daisy twirled, showing off her outfit.

“You’re going to wear that shit in public?”

“That’s why I put it on, isn’t it? Really, Roxy, you are so dense at times.” She smoothed down the striped skirt. “Besides, it’s perfectly flattering to my figure—and the color does wonders for my eyes.”

“What you look like is a ho bag.”

“Well. There’s no need for crudity.”

“You’re a fuckin’ _g-string wearing pirate_. Don’t talk to me about bein’ crude. You wanna go out like that and flaunt yourself, go right ahead. But I ain’t lettin’ you answer the door and give kids candy in that outfit.”

Daisy sauntered over, casually straddling Roxy and sitting in her lap.

“Then what will you let me do in it, officer?”

Roxy smiled, hands coming up to rest on Daisy’s hips. Fabric tore.

“Sit here quietly while I strip your pretty little ass out of it.”


End file.
